Coming Clean
by x.Miss.Attention.Span.x
Summary: Xander wasn't the only who fell head over heals for Buffy the moment they saw her, though he's long past that now they're in college. Willow still hasn't admitted her feelings to her best friend, but she's decided it's finally time to come clean. Wiffy!
1. Come Clean

"Buffy, I like you, **a lot**!" Willow stuttered nervously before sighing heavily and shaking her head "no no, that's not it!" she exclaimed, straightening herself out again and looking into the mirror.

"Buffy, Xander isn't the only one who fell for you the moment he saw you, I really, really... No!" she groaned, banging her head on the cold mirror surface impatiently. This was getting her nowhere, rambling at the mirror, after half an hour she still couldn't find the right words to tell her. How do you brake it to your best friend that you want to be more than friends with them? Especially after three years. Willow had been hiding this secret since the day they met, but today might be the day she finally told Buffy how she really felt. The red head took a deep breath and started again.

"Buffy, we need to talk.." she started, hands in her pockets and bright red hair falling in her face as she spoke.

"What about?". Willow spun around to find the object of her affections standing in the door way, smiling as she entered the room and closed the door quietly behind her. Buffy dropped her bag onto the soft cream carpet and flopped onto her bed lazily, looking up at the red head expectantly and waiting for her to answer.

"I.." she scrambled for an answer inside her head 'Oh shit…Quick! Think, think!!' "I'm going out to the Bronze tonight, in a just a sec actually, and I might not be back till late. That's okay right? I just wanted to make sure you didn't mind, what with us sharing a room now and all" she mumbled, just glad that she could think of a half believable excuse in time. Buffy paused for a moment, looking up to the right like she was thinking over it, her eyes glancing over at the open wardrobe. Willow held her breath as she waited for the blondes answer. Finally the slayer looked back at her answered with a smiled.

"Sure, actually... would you mind if I tagged along?" she asked sweetly. Willow paused, trying not to cringe, and nodded before slipping on her jacket. Buffy grinned, jumping up and hurrying over to her closet "Hmm... now what should I wear?". Willow sighed, loud enough that the blonde heard and giggled as she rummaged through her closet "Don't worry, I'll be quick. I just want to look hot. I'm single again after all, I want to have some fun". The red head took a seat on her bed, facing the opposite wall so Buffy couldn't see her pouting. This was not her idea of a nice evening out. Buffy looking gorgeous and her being stuck there while the blonde flirted, feeling miserable.

"Come on Will, let's go!" the excited slayer tugged on her sleeve playfully. Willow stood up, plastering a smile on her face as she faced Buffy and nodded. It was time to go dancing.

_X.x.X.x.X_

Willow drummed her fingers on the glass table top as she watched Buffy from afar. The blonde was giggling, her hand reaching out to gently touch the chest of the brunette standing opposite her flirtatiously. He grinned, chatting away to her, making her laugh. The red head glared at him before looking back down at her drink with a sigh, watching the ripples disperse through the smooth brown liquid as she bumped the side of the blue plastic cup.

"Hey Will. Boy, you and that cup sure do look like your having a great time" Xander commented sarcastically as he took a seat beside her. The red head looked up and smiled as she saw the brunette grinning at her goofily. If there was one person who always got her it was Xander. He was the only one who knew how she really felt about Buffy She'd never told him though, he just figured it out in his adorable Xander way. The brunette reached out and squeezed her hand.

"What's up Will?" he asked softly, causing the wicca to groan, indicating with her head which way to look "Oh, Buffy troubles huh?" he smiled petting her hand "don't worry, you'll get your girl. It's just a matter of time before Buff realizes what's been in front of her this whole time. No-one can resist Willow's wily wicca charms". The red head giggled, giving him a small smile back. '_If only he was right..'_ she thought to herself with a low sigh as she lifted her cup to take another sip. Buffy was still standing in the corner, catching Willow's eye with her slinky, backless red top and tight black jeans. The blonde paused for a second to glance back at the wicca, her cheery pretense failing for a moment a she saw the red head sitting with Xander, his hand upon hers as they giggled. Buffy sighed, turning back to the boy doing his best to impress her and smiling coyly as she leaned in to whisper.

"Do you want to dance?". The eager boy nodded gladly, leading her out onto the floor the moment the words had left her mouth. A new song came on and the blonde quickly put on her charm, wrapping her arms around the brunette's neck and moving to the music, letting the melody flow through her and show her body how to move. Willow looked and swallowed loudly. The red head rose quickly to her feet and mad a move for the door till Xander grabbed her wrist.

"I think I'm going to be sick" she insisted, fleeing the club as soon as he let go and bursting out the back door into the dark and shadowy alley way. The door shut behind her loudly and the pumping music turned to a stifled sound as though it where a million miles away. Willow took in a slow, deep breath of cool night air, leaning back against the wall as she tried to calm herself and push the feeling off rising food back down. No-one else could make her feel this way. Sick with jealousy at a mere laugh, a touch, a simple dance. It probably meant nothing. Just another of these guys Buffy met at the club, flirted and danced with and then never saw again. Ever since this summer she'd been doing it. Willow was stuck somewhere between worrying about her best friend and hoping next time the blonde would choose her. She sighed, opening her eyes and taking a few wobbly step forwards. She should get back to the dorm, she was tired and she definitely couldn't stand another moment watching Buffy dance with that stranger. The red head looked around, nothing but dark deserted alley ways back here. She clutched the bottom of her shirt nervously. She'd always had a fear of the dark but it had increased enormously since meeting Buffy.

"Willow? Oh my god!". She whirled around cautiously to find an old friend smiling back at her from in the gloom. Willow calmed, smiling back at the blonde, slightly surprised to see her after all this time.

"Harmony? Uhh, hey! God, I haven't seen you since... well since graduation day" the red head laughed as Harmony slowly walked forwards, appearing out of the shadows as she approached "How have you been?" she asked as the pink clad girl reached her with a warm smile that was some what unlike herself, or how Willow had known her during high school. The blonde shrugged lightly.

"Pretty good I guess, to tell you the truth though, I'm feeling a little peckish right now" Harmony added with a sly smile that sent shivers down the other girls spine. Willow took a step back uneasily only to find herself against a brick wall. She smiled nervously at the blonde as the ex-Cordette kept advancing on her, coming slowly closer till she had the red head pinned against the wall. She smiled as Willow quivered, her sharp fangs now clearly showing in the moon light as she morphed, ready to feed. The red head scanned the ground with her eyes for anything wooden and pointy that could help her but could see nothing of the kind.

"Harmony, it's so good to see you again" came a voice from just to the side, the owner approaching fast and kicking Harmony to the ground in one smooth motion "now get lost!" Buffy growled at her, taking up a protective stance in front of Willow as she held a sharp stake at the ready. Harmony pulled herself to her feet, scowling and dusting off her dark pink skirt angrily as she backed away into the alley again.

"You just wait, my boyfriends gunna kill you guys SO bad!" she called out before running off into the darkness. Buffy just laughed before turning back to the red head behind her and placing her hands softly on the other girls shoulders. Willow blushed, smiling up at her rescuer as she had many a time after being saved by the slayer. The blonde shook her head and wrapt an arm around the wicca's shoulders warmly as they walked back into the brigt noisy club through the back door to join Xander, who was still waiting for them at the small table, sipping Willow's drink boredly.

"Come on, let's dance!" Buffy grinned as she led her two friends out onto the dance floor, keeping a firm but gentle grip of Willow's hand as she weaved her way through the crowd right into the centre. The red head looked round self consciously as a new song started up, but as soon as the blonde took her by the waist she forgot about all the people surrounding them. Buffy smiled, trying to act as though this was something her and Willow always did, dance together like this. Xander danced beside them, every once in a while glancing back over with a knowing grin. The red head's cheek's where as red as her vibrant hair. The blonde pulled her a little closer, just enough so it was closer than just two friends would be but not so close it was obviously something more than friendship. Just enough so she could enjoy this moment with no consequences or questions later.


	2. Anywhere But Here

**ANYWHERE BUT HERE**

I'm sitting alone on the beach, the soft summer breeze blowing through my red hair. I'm staring out at the waves crashing on the shore, the sky is the brightest blue and the sun is warm as it shines down on me. I hear a voice above me and look up to see Buffy, standing their grinning and dripping wet in a small red bikini. She laughs, and sits down behind me on the hot sand, reaching up to run her hands through my hair as I lean my head back in her lap. She looks down and smiles and plants a soft kiss on my forehead and she says 'I loved you from day one Will' and she runs her hands down my bare arms..." Willow was interrupted by a red faced Xander.

"Not that I don't love to hear about your little Buffy fantasies, but you usually play this game with Buff and put someone else's name in there so you can pretend there all about some hunky famous guy when each and every single one is about her. What's up?" he asked sincerely, sitting cross legged on his messy bed with a big Xander smile plastered across his face. Willow sighed, taking a seat in his deck chair and lying back with a low groan.

"Things have been a little weird, ever since the Bronze. I mean honestly, what was that about? Dancing with me like that... god she has no idea what she does to me. She drives me insane! She... " the red head covered her face with her hands, groaning woefully again as she thought about it "and it never meant anything to her. We're just friends like we've always been. I'm just the love sick puppy following her around hopelessly. And things are never going to change!" she exclaimed with a sorrowful pout that pulled at Xander's heart strings. He hated seeing her like this. He loved Buffy but the girl left his little Willow in such a wreck sometimes. He sighed, opening his arms and beckoning her towards him. The red head almost smiled as she pulled herself slowly to her feet and crawled across the bed to bury her head in his cheesesy smelling, multi colored pizza place shirt.

"Don't worry about it Will, I'll talk to Buff, see what's going on with her at the moment because something's definitely up with her and... I hate to see you like this" he mumbled, squeezing her tightly and stroking her hair "your like my adorable little sister, and big brother is going to look after you. Now, who wants some cheesy, greasy, left over pizza?" he grinned. Willow giggled, nodding her head as he stood up to grab the large, flat cardboard box from the top of the washing machine.

"Mmmm..." she muttered sarcastically as he opened the box, yet still taking a slice anyway.

_X.x.X.x.X_

"Are you serious? I honestly don't know why you haven't just told her!" Giles muttered, peering over the top of his foggy glasses at the book spines in an attempt to find the right one. Buffy sat down on his couch with her eye brows raised, shaking her head as she watched him scanning the shelves slowly.

"It's been a while since you dated, hasn't it!" she retorted a little harshly as she looked over the articles strewn across his coffee table "I can't just tell her because.. what if she doesn't feel the same way? I can't ruin our friendship. It's too important too me" she mumbled sadly, playing with the bottom of her shirt. Giles sighed, pulling the book he'd been searching for out and turning around to face her again. He wasn't the most sympathetic person, particularly seeing as he thought she should be focusing more on slaying then on romance. He'd thought she was joking when she first told him at the beginning off the summer before college started, then he almost fainted when he realized she was being completely serious. Once it sunk in however he stated that he should have realized sooner, now that he thought about it, it had been kind of obvious from long before Buffy had realized herself.

"Well she danced with you didn't she? Buffy... love is a risk. If your not ready to take that risk, your not ready to love yet" he told her, though his poetry was quite lost on her "You just have to tell her. I'm quite certain everything will be fine" he added calmly as he walked back over to his desk. The blonde sighed, sitting back up and peering over the back of his old green couch, batting her eye lids sweetly.

"But still... will you play 'Anywhere But Here' with me? Just one round! I have nothing better to do and... this will make me feel better" she insisted, looking up at him with big, pale green eyes and biting her lip innocently. The ex-watcher shook his head, removing his glasses to wipe them clean and sighing heavily. She was after all like the daughter he never had, his only family. And now she was like the small child begging her father for the shiny toy in the shopping mall. He couldn't say no.

"Okay fine! But I honestly don't think I'll be any good at this, how about you start.." he gave in and she grinned like the little child as the father walked into the store, pulling out his wallet as he went. She paused for a second, about to begin when he quickly added "and umm... make it, decent...". The blonde giggled at his comment, nodding in compliance as she delved into the depths of her mind, finding something delicious but oh so cliché. She smiled, taking a deep breath before beginning.

"I'm in this gorgeous French restaurant, in France. And from my small table by the window I can see out past the quaint little French streets to the sea, where the French waves are crashing softly. I'm sipping this divine French coffee, as I stare out at the beautiful city and it's gorgeous sunny shores when I hear a soft, nervous voice from behind me. I look up and the most adorable red head is standing there, holding my croissant on a plate and smiling shyly at me. And she's wearing her little waitress uniform, this white, button up blouse with puffy sleeves and a mid thigh length red and white chequered, pleated skirt topped with a black beret upon her fiery hair. Her outfit is almost adorable as she is. I peer up and read her little name tag _'bonjour mon nom est Willow'_ (yes I actually remembered something I learned in high school). She places my order down on the glass top of the table in front of me and I reach out a hand, as if to shake hers. She blushes and takes my hand in hers politely and I bring it up to my mouth to kiss the back of her hand lightly saying _'c'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer'_.." Giles cut her off with a loud cough as he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"While am impressed by how much French you have remembered, honestly Buffy, just tell the girl" he muttered tiredly, rubbing his temple as he told her. The blonde groaned, starting to object when he shook his head sternly "now! Right now, go! And umm... don't forget to patrol tonight. I don't think Harmony's much of a threat but still, best to keep waery just in case" he commanded her. Buffy sighed huffily and stood up, storming out of his flat and shutting the door with a loud bang behind her.

"Ahh, finally... silence" Giles mumbled under his breath before looking back down to the book he had been trying to read.


	3. Working It Out

Xander wandered boredly down the main street of Sunnydale, with his hands in his pockets as he strolled past small shop windows, stopping every once in a while to peer through the glass at some object of desire much to expensive for him to afford. It didn't stop him from day dreaming though. With a sad smile he continued along the footpath, his shoulders slightly hunched as he stared at the ground beneath his feet, hardly looking more than a meter ahead as he went. He looked up as he reached the espresso pump, his eyes scanning over the customers seated inside till he found the girl he was looking for. Buffy was seated a table near the entrance with a view of the street, staring intently at her coffee as she stirred her spoon through in slowly in hypnotic circles.

"Hey Buff" he greeted her with a grin, pulling her out of a coffee trance as he spoke "What's up? You seem to be playing with your ice mocha more than drinking it. I thought the Buffster lived for her caffeinated beverages. Though I guess after that incident last month when you had a couple too many ice coffee's and..." he trailed off, causing the blonde to giggle as she watched him remembering. She had been a little past hyper and over excited, and then she got really jumpy.

"Hey Xan, take a seat" she offered him, pointing to the one across from him before finally taking her first sip... it had gone a little cold since she ordered it a good twenty minutes ago. She'd gotten completely lost in thought... about Willow. The red head just wouldn't leave her head. Buffy kept imagining what could happen if she told her best friend and it all went wrong. She could totally stuff everything up, and what with them sharing a dorm now and all it would be an even bigger disaster. She cringed at the thought as it yet again invaded her mind and instead tried to concentrate on Xander. He'd called her up earlier, not that long after she'd left Giles' house, and said he had to talk to her about something. Right about now, coffee probably wasn't a very good thing anyway as it would probably just make her very jumpy.

"Look Buff, it's about Willow.." he muttered as he looked her in the eyes and the blondes cheeks quickly turned a dark shade of red "and it's about you. You really haven't been yourself. What's been up with you lately?..." he continued on but by that point Buffy had already zoned out of the conversation, instead getting lost in her own worried thoughts. _'He knows, doesn't he? Oh god look at his face. He definitely knows. "It's about Willow and It's about you"?? He knows for sure. What do I do?'_ she wondered to herself.

"Look Xander I know what your going to say and... I just don't know how it happened. One day I loved Willow as a friend and the next, I loved her as so much more. I can't stop feeling this way. I mean she's my best friend and I don't want to ruin that. I don't what to do Xan. God... oh please don't tell Will!" she begged him, her bottom lip curling into an adorable pout as she looked up at him with big pale green eyes so innocently his heart melted. Xander stared back at her shocked. Did she just say what he thought he just heard her say?... This was perfect! He'd told Willow all along that she had a chance, as a best friend always should, but deep down he was a little unsure. He'd never thought Buffy could be, would be... gay? He smiled as he took her hands in his.

"This is great!" he exclaimed excitedly "this is perfect this is... Buff you've got to tell her" he grinned giddily, finally his two best friends could be together and be happy. Buffy just looked at him silently, very confused at his sudden and ecstatic out burst and advice after what she'd just told him.

"What? Are you insane? Will would freak! And then she'd tell me I was a freak and she never wanted to see me again" the blonde told him, hot salty tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes as her pouty lip began to wobble "And I don't ever want that to happen, even if it means loving her forever and her never knowing. I can't do it Xan... Please do you promise? Do you promise me you'll never tell her?" she muttered as a tear rolled down her cheek and dropped into the cold coffee she held in her hands. Xander scorned himself mentally. What was he thinking? Neither of them knew how the other felt yet (obviously!), and as long as they didn't neither was going to speak up because they thought there was no hope... Could he just tell one of them? But no... that would be breaking their trust. He'd vowed to Will he'd never tell Buffy. But did these rules and laws of friendship change in a situation like this? The brunette looked down at his hands and nodded sadly before looking back up and giving her a small, reassuring smile.

"Sure Buff, off course I promise. But umm... seriously, think about telling her. I don't think she'll react half as badly as you think she will. In fact, I think there's a fair chance she'll react the way you always dreamed she would" he told her, reaching out again to squeeze her hand "anyway, let's get you a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate, the best medicine for a broken heart. You seem to have cried in your coffee" he grinned at her, and the blonde allowed a small giggle to escape her mouth as he took her now cold coffee with him to the counter. Buffy sighed as she watched him go. Could he possibly be right? Could she seriously have a chance with Willow if she just admitted her feelings?

_X.x.X.x.X_

The library was dim, lit only by fluorescent lights, and the tall rows and rows of stacks cast a shadow over the small red head sitting on the floor way back in the geography section. She sat with her knee's to her chest, one arm wrapped around them while she used the other to hold up an old worn book. It wasn't a library book, it was one of her own. Her favorite book since she was a kid. She'd mainly read factual stuff, even from a young age. Every week she'd bought national geographic and ripped through it in only a couple of hours. When it came to fiction however, her very favorite children's book was 'Drac and the Gremlin' by Allan Baillie with it's amazing illustrations by Jane Tanner. She opened the thin book up to the first page and began to read _'Shhh! Quiet... Drac, the Warrior Queen of Tirnol Two, is in terrible danger. She is fearless, as fast as a whirlwind, as wise as the White Wizard ...'_ she smiled looking over at the illustration on the next page. The young blonde warrior princess from this book reminded her a bit of Buffy, of what she may have looked like eight years ago before they'd even met. She flicked through the book, looking at the pictures which told a story in themselves. She smiled before placing the book down on the floor beside her and sighing heavily.

"Xander, what are we doing in a library? We both no neither of us are particularly literary, apart from demon research!" the red head looked up at the sound of the familiar voice, leaning over to peer past the book shelf that towered over her out into the walkway down the centre of the maze of stacks "wait a second.. is this something to do with Willow? We've been over this Xander. Never-going-to-happen!" the blonde exclaimed. Willow frowned, trying to blink back tears at her best friends harsh words. Had Xander tried to convince Buffy to go out with her? Well, it seemed that if so, Buffy had no interest what's so ever. The red head couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. 'Never going to happen'? The tears trickled down her face and dripped into her lap and her breathing became hoarse and shallow.

"Will?" she looked up to see only the blurry image of her two friends standing before her through the tears distorting her vision, the blonde rushing forward to kneel beside her "Will, what's the matter? Are you okay?" she asked sincerely, tucking the other girls fiery red hair back behind her ear and wiping a salty tear from her cheek. She looked back to Xander only to find him already gone. She frowned, this was probably his plan all along. Find Willow and then leave Buffy alone with her so they could talk it out. How was she supposed to tell Willow how she really felt when she was so upset though? Was this a left over Oz thing? She bit her lip as she looked back down at the sniffling red head and wrapped the other girl in her arms.

"Never going to happen..." Willow muttered, half to herself as she found her self in the firm but gentle embrace of the strong slayer, causing her to blush as the other girl pulled back and pulled a face of slight confusion at hearing the red head repeat what she had said moments earlier "No-one will ever want me again, not like Oz did. N..never love me back..." she mumbled, her speech slightly impaired by her violent, squeaky sobs that interrupted mid sentence as her eyes began to water again. The blonde frowned and shook her head at Willow, stroking the others girls soft red hair lovingly as she spoke.

"That is not true Will! There is so much to love about you. Your gorgeous green eyes always filled with life, your adorable little nose" she reached out a slightly quivering finger to touch the tip of the red heads nose, making the other girl smile slightly "and you just have the sweetest smile, with those delicate pink lips..." Buffy's fingers trailed down to outline the other girls lips, causing Willow to shiver visibly before the blonde quickly pulled away, blushing ferociously "a...and off course your other good qualities like your hugely smart brain and cute quirkiness and the way you stutter when your nervous and the look you get on your face when you know your right and I'm wrong and my god the way you can be so stubborn and... " she trailed off, now having made herself blush even more. By now however Willow was grinning giddily. Having Buffy list all her good qualities made her feel all warm inside and gave her an adrenalin rush. An awkward silence fell over them as they sat on the library floor, neither daring to speak a word.


End file.
